Signs
by Jenna of the Red Robes
Summary: Jim Kirk was bored. And his boredom led him to do things that he really should not be doing. After his wild scheme goes wrong, he ends up in the med bay with his officers. But, in Jim's mind, it was partially their fault too. Since they disregarded the "obvious" signs of his boredom and didn't do anything to stop it. Sign #8: Causing Awkward Conversations
1. Sign 1: Teasing Spock and Uhura

I have wanted to write a Star Trek story for a while and I have finally started one! (Thank you Into Darkness!) Haha, I have also always wanted to try to write a humorous story so, I really hope I did alright :) Warning, I am part of the new generation of Star Trek fans so I apologize in advance if all of my terms/characterization aren't perfect. (this is a new fandom for me! Eek!)

Disclaimer:

Star Trek is not mine  
But I shall not whine  
'Cause Quinto is so fine  
And so is Chris Pine!

Sorry for the long-ish note. Please enjoy and thanks for reading!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~j~t~k~~James Tiberius Kirk was bored. Truly and utterly bored. He and his crew were 3 months into their five year mission and nothing interesting had happened. Nothing at all. Sure, they did get to survey some planets and study some local plant life. Big whoop-de-doo. Kirk thrived on adventure and their time in space had been anything but. So, in his mind, his plan was completely justified. Crazy and probably stupid, but justified.

It had started off like any other of his wild schemes, full of fun and tomfoolery. However, somewhere along the line things started to go wrong.

Now, he was lying in med bay with a very angry Bones, an unconscious Lieutenant Uhura, a heavily sedated Russian whiz kid, and a rather passive-aggressive Vulcan First Officer.

Jim was convinced that it was partially his crew's fault. They should have known that he was heading down a dangerous path of bad scheming and pranks. His bridge officers had missed all of the signs of his declining attention and boredom. So, he reasoned, it just _had _to be as much their fault as his. Seriously, how did they miss all of the signs!?

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_**One week earlier.**_

**Sign Number One: Continuous and relentless teasing of Spock and Uhura. **

"Keptin on ze bridge!" Chekov yelled happily as Kirk walked into the room. He smiled at the young Russian who was seated next to his helmsman, Sulu.

"Good morning!" The "Keptin" responded. Jim Kirk sat down in his chair and looked around for his First Officer, Spock. He was not located anywhere on the bridge and neither was Lieutenant Uhura. Kirk chuckled to himself, thinking about his friend's secret-but-everyone-actually-knows-about-it relationship with his communications officer.

Kirk was becoming uninterested with the lack of exciting things happening around him so, he decided to have some fun.

"Hey! Where's Spock?...And would you look at that, Uhura is missing as well!" The Captain exclaimed loudly. A few of his officers glanced towards him and smiled while others looked a little upset. Most of the males aboard his ship had had a crush on Uhura at one point and were all crushed when they discovered that she was dating the Vulcan and was unlikely to end it in the foreseeable future. Chekov was the only one who looked confused and unsure of what the Captain was implying. Jim smirked and thought about the hilarity of youth and innocence.

After a moment, Kirk continued his mini speech. "I wonder where they could possibly be? I mean, what are the chances that they are doing something _together_, hmmm? Strange, that they are both late for duty. Perhaps they were-"

Whatever he was going to say was interrupted by Spock and Uhura walking onto the bridge. The Lieutenant was straightening her uniform and pulling her pony tail tighter as she quickly walked toward her station with the impeccably dressed Vulcan right behind her.

"Well, would you look at that? The two lovebirds have decided to grace us with their presence this morning." Kirk said cheekily, a broad smile on his face. Uhura blushed bright red and began to furiously engross herself in her work.

"Captain, what exactly is a lovebird? I am not aware of such a species." Spock questioned. The communications officer's blush deepened.

"Oh, Spock." Kirk responded with false sincerity as he stood up and walked towards him. "A lovebird is a term humans use to describe two people who are romantically involved with each other." He continued, adopting his best "Spock" voice.

"But Sir, that would imply that Lieutenant Uhura and I are romantically involved." The Vulcan responded quickly.

"Indeed it does!" Jim responded, lightly smacking Spock on the arm. "We all know about you two." He added in a loud whisper. The Captain laughed and headed back to his chair. "Ears burning?" He asked nonchalantly over his shoulder. Spock gave him his best death glare and sat down at his work station.

After about five minutes of silence, Kirk started talking to Sulu. They discussed everything from the planets that they were heading towards to different star formations until Kirk was so thoroughly fed up with the lack of excitement that he decided to once again tease his favorite couple. He snuck up behind Nyota Uhura and whispered in her ear.

"Hello beautiful." She shrieked and jumped about three meters out of her chair.

"Don't you dare do that to me again!" She demanded angrily, glaring at the Captain.

"Do what? Whisper in your ear or flirt? 'Cause flirting is an inherent part of my nature and I know that you secretly like it. "Jim said with a wink. Uhura just threw her arms up in exasperation and turned away from him.

"That is no way to treat your date." He added, noticing that he was not getting the explosive reaction that he wanted from her.

"My date?" She asked with a dangerous edge to her voice, daring her Captain to continue.

"What?!" He asked with feigned surprise. "How could you have forgotten? Tonight I am entertaining you in my quarters." Kirk said with a seductive look. "Since, you are apparently not "romantically involved" with Mr. Spock, you should have no qualms about joining me this evening. " Jim continued brashly.

Uhura finally looked about ready to explode in anger but, Spock had decided to intervene by putting his hand gently on her arm. The First Officer opened his mouth to say something to his Captain but Kirk cut him off. "Just kidding Uhura! Gosh, you really got to learn how to take a joke." He condescendingly patted her on the head and once again headed back to his seat. Out of the corner of his eye he could see Spock whisper something to Nyota, clearly calming her down.

Kirk lazily spun around his chair, looking out at the blank expanse of space before him, his mind blank as well.

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That was chapter one! What do you guys think? Is this worth continuing or not? If so, Chapter 2 is about Embarrassing Chekov. Please review and let me know how you feel about this fic! Thanks and have a wonderful day! Jenna out!


	2. Sign 2: Embarrassing Chekov

Thanks so much to those of you who reviewed/favorited/followed this story. You guys are my inspiration! This chapter is dedicated to **Flamingspain** who was this story's first reviewer! Thanks!

**Flamingspain: **Thanks for the review! I hope my story stays interesting :)

**JonNebula: **Thank you! I've always wanted to write a funny story so I am glad that I was able to make you laugh! :D

**Elysenjazz: **Yay! I am happy that you thought it was hilarious! You are so polite and I will definitely update as often as I possibly can.

Warning: I do not usually update this fast so sorry but, don't get too comfortable with daily updates.

I am not sure exactly sure how to write a Russian accent so please bear with me! Oh, and I don't have a beta so all the mistakes are mine, I apologize in advance for any mistakes herein.

Disclaimer:

I don't own Star Trek  
I'm not that high tech  
So, I won't get a check  
Not even a little speck!

Please enjoy chapter two!

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**Sign Number Two: Embarrassing** **Ensign Chekov****, Pavel**** Andreievich**

Jim Kirk was pacing the bridge, annoyance clearly etched on his face. He was thinking about his teasing of Spock and Uhura the day before and how that had somehow ended up with him being cornered after his shift and forced to get an incredibly boring lecture from Spock. The Captain was extremely irritated that one of his favorite pastimes was now revoked, at least until the Vulcan and the communications officer calmed down a bit. Until then, Kirk wasn't sure what he was going to do to fill his long hours.

He audibly groaned and went to his Captain's chair. Jim dropped his head into his lap and closed his eyes. He had thought that his day was uninteresting yesterday but, now they had entered a zone of space that was almost completely black. The crew got excited when they saw a star! Ugh! He didn't think it was possible but, his day today had officially ranked lower than the previous. Kirk was about ready to make up an excuse and head back to his quarter's but, just then Chekov walked onto the bridge with a slight blush on his cheeks. The Captain's curiosity was piqued and he decided right then and there that he was going to engage in another one of his favorite time-wasters: embarrassing Chekov.

Pavel Chekov sat down at his work station and directed a small smile towards Sulu.

"You finally did it?" The helmsman whispered to the young Russian. He said it quietly but, Kirk still heard it.

"Did what?" The Captain inquired, standing up and settling in the space between Sulu and Chekov. Pavel looked studiously down at his work station, avoiding Jim's eyes.

"Nothing Keptin," He answered swiftly.

"Hmmm, I beg to differ. Sulu definitely asked you if you had finally done _something_ and I am quite curious as to what that _something_ is."

"Umm," Chekov mumbled a few things incoherently while glaring at Hikaru.

"Must we play the guessing game?" The Captain questioned dramatically while leaning against the console. When the Russian whiz kid didn't respond Kirk just continued speaking. "Fine…let's see…Did you finally get up enough nerve to confess your undying love to Dr. McCoy?"

Chekov's eyes widened comically. "Net, nikogda!" Pavel was so shocked at the Captain's question that he slipped into Russian. "...ack, No Sir!" He responded vehemently.

"No? Then… did you confess your love to Scotty?" Jim asked.

Pavel turned bright red. "Of course not Keptin! Where are you getting zese ideas? I am not interested in dating men!"

Kirk laughed at the scandalized expression that his youngest crewman was sending him.

"So then you areinterested in women?"

"Da!"

Jim noticed that Sulu was stifling laughter. He spared a quick glance around and noticed a few of his other officers were smiling into their hands as well.

Then, the Captain had a stroke of brilliance. He suddenly knew exactly what Chekov had gotten up the nerve to do! Kirk thought back to a couple of days before when he had seen the young ensign talking to a pretty girl from engineering…Valarie? No…Vera! That was it.

"I know what you did!" Jim exclaimed happily. Chekov gave his Captain a bemused look. "You asked _Verani _out, didn't you!?" Kirk continued, purposely saying the girl's name wrong.

"Her name is Wera! I mean…maybe I did." He answered dejectedly, realizing too late that he had fallen into the Captain's trick.

"Her name is Wera? Don't you mean Vera?" The Captain questioned, perhaps he was having a little _too _much fun frustrating Chekov but, he just couldn't help it.

"Zat is what I said! Wera!" Pavel noted that the bridge had fallen silent at his outburst. The Russian looked mortified. And it didn't help the situation that Kirk decided to pat Chekov obnoxiously on the back and exclaim:

"Congrats kid! You are growing up so fast! First, you're asking girl's out! Soon, you'll have a little pregnant wife and after that you'll have adorable little Russian toddler's waddling around with your curly hair!" Jim didn't think it was possible for Pavel to look any more embarrassed than he looked right now. He decided that he had put the whiz kid through enough humiliation for one day. The Captain looked pointedly at his crew and they all returned to their stations, albeit reluctantly. Jim leaned down toward the ensign.

"If you ever need any girl advice, you know where to find me." He told him with a kind smile. Chekov smiled back at him hesitantly. He speedily forgave his Captain for publicly humiliating him. Pavel wasn't one to dwell on things that made him unhappy.

James Kirk left his navigator alone and went back to his customary seat. His eyes strayed to Uhura and he wondered if she would get mad at him again if he tried flirting with her. Jim figured that she probably would.

The Captain sighed and fixed his vision on the ceiling, wishing that something remarkable would happen. Nothing horribly dangerous, he thought, just interesting enough to break him away from this unending monotony.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~j~t~k~~~~

That was chapter two! I hope you enjoyed it! Please review to let me know what you thought! Next chapter will most likely be about messing with Bones! Haha, thanks and have an amazing day! Jenna out! :)

P.S.

**Net, nikogda** means **No, never**

**Da** means **Yes**

(according to Google Translate)


	3. Sign 3: Messing with Bones

Wow! I am so spoiling you guys ;) I am going to be out of town all week so, I wanted to give you all one more chapter before I leave! Big thank you to all of you who reviewed/favorited/followed this story! I can't express my gratitude enough!

This chapter is dedicated to **elysenjazz**.

**elysenjazz**: Thanks for the sweet reviews! You are too kind! :)

**HetaliaLOSTLOVER**: Wow! First time? Yay! I am so happy that I was able to make you laugh! Thanks for reviewing!

**Starsinger**: Haha, yes he does!

**sargent-titan: **Thank you! Glad to make you laugh! :)

Disclaimer:

I don't own this Starship

But, it would be one crazy trip

With Kirk giving everyone lip

And Chekov trying to be hip

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**Sign Number Three: Messing with Leonard "Bones" McCoy **

Jim wasn't sure when it happened but, the last thing he remembered was staring up at the ceiling and the next second he was lying on the floor. He blinked his eyes groggily and tried to regain his bearings. He noted that he was still on the bridge, which was a relief. But, then the Captain noticed that his crew was all trying to hold back laughter.

"Keptin?" Chekov asked with a cheeky smile.

Kirk directed his attention toward the young navigator as he picked himself off of the floor. "Hmm?"

"Did you get enough sleep last night?" The Russian continued. Apparently the crew couldn't hold it in anymore because they all simultaneously busted into laughter. Jim looked confused and then it hit him. He had fallen asleep and therefore had fallen out of his Captain's chair!

"Captain," Spock's cool voice interrupted Kirk's thoughts. "Perhaps you should head back to your quarters for a short nap. I can take the comm while you regain your strength." The First Officer said politely although Jim was sure that the Vulcan was teasing him. He mumbled his assent and left the bridge, avoiding looking at his laughing officers. He would get them back for this at a later date, he was sure of it.

Jim stepped into the turbo lift but, he had no intention of heading to his room. He knew he hadn't fallen asleep because he hadn't slept well the night before; it was because he had nothing to occupy his mind so it had just shut down. And Kirk knew just the thing to do to excite him into wakefulness. A very mischievous grin appeared on the Captain's face as he stepped off of the lift and headed towards the med bay.

Jim stopped outside of the entrance and stealthily looked in, trying to locate McCoy without being seen. His grin widened when he saw Bones yelling at an engineer who was trying to get out of bed, despite his obvious injuries.

"No! You are going to stay in this bed until I clear you. Is that understood?" The Doctor exclaimed. The red shirt nodded meekly, clearly afraid of McCoy's fabled temper.

"Bones!" Jim called, finally entering the room. His friend's eyes narrowed at him.

"Jim, what are you doing here?"

"I wanted to see the angry doctor at work in his natural environment, which apparently involves threatening this poor engineer." He responded, with excessive happiness. Bones just groaned and turned away from Jim, heading towards another patient. Kirk stepped directly behind him, invading the doctor's personal space.

"If you don't back away in three seconds, I swear to God that I will hypospray you into oblivion." Bones growled at him.

"You wouldn't do that to your Captain." He responded impertinently. But, he did take a step back, just to be safe.

"Oh yes I would! Don't test me."

Jim put on his best I-am-so-innocent-I-wouldn't-hurt-a-thing smile.

"Why would I ever want to test the good doctor?" Bones just rolled his eyes and walked away from the Captain. Jim was annoyed that he wasn't getting McCoy as angry as he usually did. He was scared that he was losing his touch. The Captain decided it was time for plan B: flirt with McCoy's staff.

Kirk walked towards a pretty nurse who was checking a science officer's vitals.

"Hello gorgeous," He said seductively. The nurse jumped and turned to face Jim. She had short brown hair and dark green eyes.

"Captain," She said politely and tried to step away from him. The nurse looked around for McCoy and Kirk huffed.

"Let me guess, the Doctor made a rule that his nurses aren't allowed to talk to me?" He asked. The lady looked embarrassed but, she nodded slowly.

"Bones!" He yelled, rushing towards his friend. McCoy gave an exaggerated sigh and looked at Jim.

"You told your nurses that they weren't allowed to talk to me?" The Captain questioned in a pathetic tone of voice.

"Yes," Bones responded promptly.

"But-but why?" Kirk looked truly confused. "They are so pretty! Why would you do this to me?"

"Good god Jim! Don't be such an infant! I really don't need you distracting all of my nurses with your antics. So, goodbye." He said with a note of finality. The doctor grabbed Kirk's arm and started to forcibly drag him out of the med bay.

Over his shoulder Jim yelled:

"Bye ladies! I'll see you all later!" He winked flirtatiously and was pleased to see that the majority of them blushed. McCoy shoved him out of the room.

"Leave! And if you come back here today, I'll have a hypospray waiting with your name on it." McCoy raised the aforementioned object and showed it to Jim. He let out a very un-captain-ly yelp and backed away.

"Got to go!" He turned and fled. As he ran, Jim decided that maybe he should go back to his quarters and take that nap. It would be more fun than sitting on the bridge doing nothing.

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Hmmmmm, didn't turn out exactly how I'd wanted. Aw well!

I hope you still liked it anyways! Please review and let me know what you thought! I will work on a better chapter while I'm out of town. It will either be about Jim scaring ensigns or pranking the bridge. Which would you guys prefer? (don't worry, I will eventually use both of those ideas I just want to know which one you guys want to read first) Have a fabulous day! Jenna out! :)


	4. Sign 4: Scaring Ensigns

I'm back! I missed you all!

This chapter is dedicated to **Flamingspain**

**Flamingspain**: I'm glad you like my poems! And it is "j t k" for James Tiberius Kirk :)

**Mushushy**: Thanks for the review! I love this story too! :D

**XxTheMoonRiddlexX**: Yay! Thanks for reviewing!

**Killerwolf61**: I'm so happy that it made you laugh! And I will eventually write the pranking the bridge one. I just couldn't think of a good prank! :O

**Seacat03**: Thanks!

**JonNebula**: Thank you! Haha, yes McCoy is always one step ahead of him! Poor Jim!

**Elena726532**: Thanks! I am happy that they make your day funnier! :D

**elysenjazz**: Thank you SO much for reviewing! I really look forward to reading your reviews, they are always so thoughtful! And yes, I think three times warrant an 'as usual' :D

Here is chapter 4! Please Enjoy!

**Disclaimer**:

This is not my five year mission

I don't have that much ambition

But, Bones is one great physician

And Kirk lives on intuition

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**Sign Number Four: Scaring Ensigns**

Jim stopped running and slowed his pace. He was pretty sure that he was far enough away from Bones and his horrifying hyposprays. Kirk was also positive that McCoy invented vaccines just so that he could jam them into him!

The Captain was about to round a corner when he heard female voices speaking. Normally, Jim wasn't one to eavesdrop but, he figured why not? Seeing as he didn't have anywhere to be other than taking a nap which is not fun. He stopped walking and listened to the ladies, staying behind the corner so that he wouldn't be seen.

"...so handsome! And with those sparkling blue eyes!" One of the women said.

"He's just dreamy! Don't you think so Vera?" Another voice responded.

Vera? The name seemed familiar to Kirk. Oh yeah! He remembered that she was Chekov's girlfriend.

"I don't know," Vera responded to the girl. "He is the Captain so, I don't think it's appropriate to talk about him like this."

Jim smirked triumphantly. The "dreamy" man that they were discussing was himself!

"You are strange Vera! Every girl has a crush on the Captain, unless... Wait! Are you dating someone?" The first voice questioned piercingly.

Kirk decided that he was done waiting in the shadows and that he wanted to have a little fun scaring these people.

"Indeed she is!" He exclaimed, making himself known to the group of women. They were all red-shirted ensigns and one had long blonde hair while the other had shoulder-length hair that was bright purple. The Captain recognized Vera with her long curly black hair. The two who had been talking about how attractive he was looked incredibly frightened, they were trying to avoid staring directly at him. Jim continued to smirk as he put his arm casually around Vera's shoulders.

"You-you and the Captain!?" The blonde women asked, her face full of shock. Kirk recognized her voice as the first lady that had been speaking. Jim waited a moment, letting the women draw their own conclusions. Vera looked terrified and unable to speak.

"Sadly no," he said. "Since Vera is oh so very pretty! However, this lucky lady," he pulled her closer to him. "is dating a very important member of my command team and I don't think he would be very pleased with me if I stole his girl!"'

"Who?" The purple haired girl asked curiously, though she still avoided looking at the Captain.

"Ensign Chekov!" He answered jovially.

"The cute Russian navigator!?" The blonde blurted out. Vera nodded proudly in response, apparently regaining her ability to express herself.

"Ladies!" Jim said, directing the attention back towards him. "I almost forget, I have a friendly reminder for you all." They looked towards him expectantly, although they pointedly avoided direct eye contact. "If you wish to discuss how 'dreamy' your _Captain_ is, I would advise you to do it in private not in public." The blonde and purple haired girls looked a very humorous cross between scared and embarrassed. "One more thing," Kirk added, almost as an afterthought. "Mr. Scott was looking for you women. He said something about 'no good lasses disrupting his warp core' or something along those lines. As your Captain, I would advise you to hurry to engineering because he did not look very pleased. That is all." He finished in his well-known 'Captain's Voice' as his command team had dubbed it.

The trio paled instantly, all fearing the ire of the Scottish engineer. The two members of the We Love Jim Kirk Fan Club immediately ran down the passageway, heading towards engineering. Vera tried to follow but, Kirk tightened his grip on her. She gave him a questioning look and opened her mouth to ask him why he had stopped her when a look of understanding dawned in her eyes. Her face morphed into a sly smile, mirroring the Captain's own.

"Mr. Scott did not actually ask for us, did he?" She asked.

"No," He whispered conspiratorially. "I just wanted to scare them." Vera laughed at her Captain's bluntness. "Now, why don't you head to the bridge? I'm sure Chekov can be excused for a quick lunch break with his girlfriend." The engineer looked up at Kirk gratefully.

"Thank you, Captain."

"No problem," He finally let her out of his grip. "Scurry along!" Jim added playfully, giving her a light shove. Vera hurried down the hallway, shooting Kirk one more happy grin.

He smiled back and then turned on his heel, heading in the other direction. Jim had forgotten how fun it was to scare ensigns so he decided to frighten a few more before heading to his quarters to take that nap. The Captain took a random turn, hoping to stumble upon someone to freak out.

His luck paid off because as soon as he turned he noticed a blue-shirted ensign leaning over a computer console, deep in thought. Kirk tried to be as sneaky as possible as he quietly walked up behind the officer, avoiding detection.

"Boo!" Jim yelled loudly into the ensign's ear. The man let out a very girlish squeal and turned around. His frightened expression turned to confusion when he saw the Captain.

"Ca-Ca-Captain?" The blue shirt stuttered.

"Carry on Ensign." Kirk responded in a commanding tone, briskly walking away and leaving a thoroughly nonplussed ensign behind.

Jim smiled once he was far enough away from the man. He decided that wandering the ship and terrifying ensigns was by far more fun than napping.

He turned a corner and saw yet another ensign staring at a computerized screen. The Captain smirked and slinked towards her. Maybe he would end up having a fun day after all.

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Thank you for reading! I would positively adore it if you could review and let me know what you thought. (I really live for those things!) :)

Okay, so I was all ready to start writing the chapter about pranking the bridge when I realized that I couldn't think of a single prank! So, I really need everyone's help! If you have a prank idea please review and let me know!

Have a superb day! Jenna out! (Wow, I really like exclamation marks!) :D


	5. Sign 5: Pulling a Prank on the Bridge

This chapter is dedicated to **JonNebula**.

**JonNebula**: You were the first person to review chapter 4! Thanks so much! Haha, Jim is so loveable!

**Mushushy**: Yay! I'm glad that I got you to laugh loud enough to annoy your brother! Haha! (tribbles will get a shout out this chapter) :)

**tvshift**: Thanks for the reviews! And the prank idea! (Spoiler: it is used in this chapter…) :)

**RedHatMeg**: Thanks for the review! And yeah, he does know the boundaries :D

**DyceyMew**: Thanks for the reviews! You're too kind! :D

**Elysenjazz**: Thanks for the review! Haha, I really like poetry so I have just as much fun writing the disclaimer as writing the chapter! (however, my poetic secret is safe with me!) ;) Thanks for all the prank ideas! I do kind of use one in this chapter! By the way, I love Psych! It's one of my favorite TV shows! :D

**XxTheMoonRiddlexX**: Thank you! I have a lot of fun writing them!

**SpaceGirl**: Thanks for the review! I love his humor too!

**Flamingspain**: Thanks for the review! :)

**tzswei**: Aw thanks! :)

**Guest**: Thanks for the review and prank idea!

HUGE thank you to everyone who reviewed/favorited/followed this story! You guys really do make my day!

**Disclaimer**:

Star Trek, I do not own  
I am not that well known  
If I did, then my cover is now blown  
Alas! All I've got left are my bones! ;)

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**Sign Number Five: Pulling a Prank on the Bridge Crew**

Kirk's mission of horror ended late in the day when scaring ensigns lost his interest. He decided to retire for the evening. As he got into his bed his mind drifted to the morning when he had fallen asleep in his chair and his crew had laughed at him. As he slowly fell asleep his plan for revenge formed in his mind…

Jim woke up bright and early, ready to start his day. He had set everything up and his plan was prepared to be set into motion. With a purposeful stride, he headed to the bridge, a smirk etched on his features. En route, he passed a few cute nurses that he couldn't resist sending a wink or two but, within minutes he was being greeted by Chekov's chirping voice.

"Keptin on ze bridge!" Jim nodded in affirmation and sat down in his chair. He greeted Spock and Uhura as well as smiled at Sulu. Kirk carefully schooled his face to appear less suspicious; his smirk was replaced with an innocent smile.

He pulled out a PADD and typed out a few commands. Exactly thirty five seconds later a quiet ticking noise slowly filled the bridge.

At first, Uhura was the only one to notice. The Captain saw her glance around quizzically, wondering where the sound was coming from. Spock titled his head to the right, listening intently. Jim had to restrain himself from laughing as his First Officer tried to avoid displaying his increasing confusion.

"Captain?" He asked after a moment. The ticking had gotten louder and had drawn the attention of Sulu and Chekov as well.

"Yes Spock?" Jim responded calmly.

"Do you know the origin of the ticking noise?" The Vulcan queried.

Kirk made an elaborate show of looking confused before giving Spock a very exasperated expression. "What ticking noise are you referring to?"

"The one currently filling the bridge, sir." He responded, raising his eyebrow slightly at his Captain.

"I know of no such sound, Commander." Jim answered dismissively, turning away from Spock. He had to bite his lip to contain his laughter.

"I hear it too, sir." Sulu added, coming to Spock's aid.

"As do I!" Chekov contributed. Kirk looked at each of his crew members in turn, still ignoring the now deafening noise. _Tick Tick Tick! _

"I have no idea what you all are referring to. Perhaps you should check in with Dr. McCoy and have your hearing tested." Jim said in a concerned tone of voice. He gripped the handle on his chair in a death grip, trying very hard to stop the giggle that was about to escape him. Kirk wished he had something to capture the baffled looks on his bridge crew's faces. And the best was yet to come!

"Captain, I believe you may be the one in need of a hearing test." Spock said coolly.

The ticking increased in speed and reached an even more earsplitting volume.

Pavel covered his ears while Uhura furiously tapped on her console, trying to find the source of the ticking.

_BOOM!_ The thunderous sound filled the bridge, as all the lights in the room flickered and blacked out. However, within seconds everything was back online. Everyone looked around with confusion and panic etched on their faces. The crew looked towards their Captain who was sprawled out on the ground, seemingly unconscious.

"Keptin!" Chekov was the first to break the silence, rushing to Kirk's side. The rest of the command team followed, kneeling on the ground next to him. Spock checked his pulse and confirmed that he was still very much alive. Sulu shook Jim's shoulder trying to wake him up.

"Lieutenant," Spock said to Uhura. "Please contact Dr. McCoy and have him report to the bridge immediately."

"Yes Commander." She responded speedily, already fulfilling her orders.

Unbeknownst to his crew, Jim was actually very much conscious. This was all just a part of his intricate prank to get them back for laughing at him the day before. Kirk continued to struggle not to laugh or indicate that he was awake as his team shook him and called his name. A snicker almost escaped his lips when he heard Bones enter the bridge.

"Why was it so important that I leave the med bay to visit the stupid bridge?" The doctor demanded angrily as he walked in. "Dammit I'm a doctor, not just some random crew member on this no good tin can that you can just order around and demand that they—" McCoy's voice stopped abruptly as he took in Kirk's passed out form.

"What happened?" He asked, reverting to "Doctor" mode. Bones hurried to his friend's side.

"I do not know Doctor. A loud ticking noise was emitted throughout the bridge followed by a roaring explosion-like sound that caused our consoles to flicker and black out. When the power was restored, the Captain was unconscious." Spock replied impassively, although he looked more concerned than his tone indicated.

McCoy leaned in to check Kirk's pulse. The second his fingers touched his neck, Jim sat up rapidly.

"BONES!" He yelled. Chekov shrieked and scrambled away from the Captain. Uhura and Sulu both started slightly but, regained their composure in record time. Spock looked at Jim aloofly, not at all frightened by his obnoxious awakening. But, in Jim's mind, the best reaction was McCoy's. The doctor was now perched on his toes on top of the Captain's chair, glaring at Kirk.

"You-you- " Bones seethed in anger, unable to voice his thoughts.

The Captain finally allowed himself to burst into laughter. His chortles echoed around the room as his crew all came to the realization that the entire calamity had been orchestrated by their Captain. Jim curled up on the floor giggling uncontrollably.

He knew this wasn't the best prank that he had every pulled but, there was so little to do around the ship that he was grasping any excuse to laugh his head off.

Kirk continued to laugh and was blissfully ignorant of the now narrowing eyes of his crew. The Captain glanced up and finally noticed the murderous glare that Bones was sending him. Uh oh! He thought as he scrambled to his feet.

"At least I didn't bring any tribbles!" Jim shouted recognizing that now was definitely the most apt time to make his escape. He broke into a run, leaving the bridge before anyone could catch him.

His maniacal laughter would be heard throughout the entire ship for the rest of the day.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~j~t~k~~~

Mwhahaha! He pranked the bridge! Haha, I hope it made sense and that you guys liked it! Please review and let me know your thoughts!

I had the funniest vision in my head of Jim Rick Rolling the crew and jamming "Never Gonna Give You Up" Haha I almost wrote it as his prank ;)

What do you all want the next chapter to be about? I'm thinking either wandering engineering (annoying Scotty) or maybe flirting with someone? I dunno! I would be open to any ideas you all have too! I'm kinda worried to write a Scotty chapter though, I hope I will do his character okay!

I saw Into Darkness for the third time today and it was just as amazing as the first time! I loved it! XD

Have a great day! Jenna out!


	6. Sign 6: Frighten Scotty

Hi! Did you all miss me? ;) Sorry, I've been super busy and this chapter just did not want to get written!

This chapter is dedicated to **wonderland-bliss. **You were the first person to review the last chapter! Thank you!

**wonderland-bliss**: Thank you for reviewing! I'm so happy it made you laugh!

**tzswei**: Thanks for the review and PM! I like the idea and I'm working on expanding on it! I tried writing it but, I couldn't get it to come out right. But, I'll try again! If it doesn't make it into this story maybe I'll post it as a one-shot for you? :)

**RedHatMeg**: Thanks for the review! I really liked both of your ideas! (I do use one of them) :)

**starfire341**: Thanks! I would love to see their faces too! :D

**elysenjazz**: Yay! Haha, you have stolen my poetic secret! :D Such a cute review! Thanks so much! Scotty is next! Woot woot!

**gracieliz**: Thanks for the review!

**dreaming-up-fantasies**: I'm glad you like it! Thanks!

**Elena726532**: Thanks!

**JonNebula**: You're welcome! :) Thanks for the review! Haha, Kirk should get his butt whipped soon!

**DyceyMew**: Haha! Thanks for the review! It's so amazing that you like these enough to re-read! That makes me so happy! :)

**Dairi**: Thanks! I love that idea! I will definitely try to incorporate it in one of the chapters! And yeah, I do want the crew to get him back, it'll either be in this story or in a companion one-shot. I haven't decided yet! :D

**Ellstra**: Haha, yeah! Thanks for the review!

**Flamingspain**: Thanks SO much for the ideas! You totally gave me the inspiration for this chapter! :)

**tvshift**: Haha! I'm glad that it made you laugh! (even if you were in an office building) :D

**kyuubecky**: Thank you!

**Guest**: Thanks so much!

Wow! Last chapter got a lot of reviews! THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH! Now, you all have to be honest with me: Is it annoying having my responses at the beginning of the chapters? I really like to acknowledge all of you but, I feel like it takes up a lot of space. Would you guys prefer it if I just responded to one's that need responses or just keep doing all of them? I just love thanking you all! :)

**Disclaimer:**

Star Trek makes me star struck

I don't own it, guess I'm out of luck

I've learned that Kirk is no schmuck

And that the crew will never run amuck

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~j~t~k~~~

**Sign Number Six: Frightening Montgomery Scott**

"Why are ye eatin' apples on duty!? I can't have those no good fruits around my warp core! Do ye understand me?" Scotty bellowed loudly at a terrified engineer. Mr. Scott was usually a calmer individual but, he took his engineering duties _very _seriously and it was completely unacceptable for his engineer's to be eating on duty. Especially apples – he despises apples! They are so messy and can get rubbish everywhere.

Kirk smirked, hidden from view, behind a wall. He had wandered down to engineering to see what Scotty was up to but, he stopped short when he heard the Scottish engineer working himself into a temper. Jim almost felt sorry for the poor red shirt that was currently getting scolded but, he really should've known better. Everyone knows that Scotty takes his engineering department extremely seriously. The Captain slowly backed away from the engineers and headed back the way he had come from. A mischievous smile appeared on his face as Kirk started scheming.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~j~t~k~~~~

An hour later he was ready. Jim had a small official Starfleet satchel over his shoulder filled with small round objects. He went to engineering and glanced around to make sure that Scotty was nowhere in sight. The Captain breathed a small sigh of relief, his assumption that the engineer would be eating lunch in the mess hall was correct.

Jim quickly set to work, placing the items in various places throughout the area. As he placed the last one he heard Mr. Scott heading towards where he was. Kirk swiftly rushed to a wall and ducked behind it.

"An' that's why too much agreement kills a conversation, ay?" Scotty asked an engineer, apparently quoting an old Scottish saying.

The Chief Engineer stopped dead when he saw what Jim had done to his engineering department.

"Are those apples!?" He yelled, rounding on the red shirt that he was walking with but, the young man was already gone. He was smart and had decided to flee.

Scotty approached the bright red apple that was in the middle of the passageway. He lifted his gaze higher and saw that the horrendous fruit was spread all throughout engineering, even dangerously close to his warp core! The man let out a high-pitched squeak and rushed towards the others, furiously trying to grab them all but, there were so many.

"Mr. Scott!" Kirk called out loudly, pretending to turn the corner. Scotty jumped and all the apples that he had been holding flew out of his hands and rolled in all different directions. Jim had to employ a lot of self-control to not burst into laughter. "Surprise inspection today! And the best department gets the most shore leave, isn't that great?" He continued pleasantly, ignoring the alarmed expression on his engineer's face.

The Captain finally looked down and noticed all the apples. He tried to make a large show of looking surprised. "What's all this?" He questioned, using his "Captain's Voice".

"Well – Cap'n, sir, I just got in here an' they weren't here before lunch–"

"You mean to tell me that these apples just appeared?" Kirk responded incredulously while kicking one lightly with his foot.

"Aye, Cap'n!"

Jim walked past the flustered man and looked at the rest of the area.

"Mr. Scott," He began sternly, causing Mr. Scott to audibly gulp. "It appears to me that you do not have proper control over the people under your command. Clearly, you do not have strict rules regarding conduct and food consumption around the engineering equipment, especially the warp core." Kirk finished firmly.

Scotty's eyes widened and a look of utter fear crossed his face. "Sir I—"

Jim interrupted him again. "Engineering will not be receiving any shore leave until these serious grievances have been taken care of. Is that understood?"

"Aye, Cap'n but sir – " He stopped talking and a very confused look appeared on his face because Kirk had just burst into laughter. The Captain gave him a friendly pat on the back as the giggles continued to escape him. Mr. Scott looked around, very puzzled.

"You – should've – seen – your – face!" Jim exclaimed between chuckles.

"Wait, ye did all this?" Scotty asked, gesturing to the apples. Kirk nodded as he took deep breaths to try to calm down.

"But, why?"

"I don't know. It seemed like a good idea. And it was so worth it!" He exclaimed childishly.

Mr. Scott just shook his head at his Captain's antics and began to gather up all the bright red fruit. When his back was turned, Jim grabbed one of the apples and took a big bite out of it as he casually strolled out of engineering, his face a perfect mask of innocence.

His mind however, was not as serene as his demeanor suggested. Kirk was actually very nervous because he had just realized that he might be nearing the state of boredom.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~j~t~k~~

Uh oh! Jim thinks he might be getting bored! Haha, about time he realized it!

I hope you guys liked this chapter and that I did Scotty okay.

What should the next chapter be about? i just don't know!

Thanks for reading and please review to let me know what you thought about it! :)

"too much agreement kills a conversation" is apparently actually a Scottish saying according to some website that i was on that i can't remember...oops

Have a marvelous day! Jenna out!

p.s. sorry if there are any mistakes, i'm writing this very late because I really wanted to give you all a new chapter :)


	7. Sign 7: Reprogramming Equipment

Wow! I can't believe we're already to Chapter 7! Please Enjoy!

This chapter is dedicated to **Dairi**.

**Dairi**: Thanks for the review! Your idea was the inspiration for this chapter! I really appreciate you taking the time to review and letting me know your thoughts on this story. You rock! :)

**tzwei**: Thanks for reviewing! I will let you know when/if I post that one shot :) I will try to incorporate some confused Chekov somewhere in this story! And I'll work on some Sulu stuff!

**Deliciouslyfun**: Thanks for the review! Haha, one week is not quite up, but, we're getting closer! :)

**Anika**: Thanks for the review! The Chekov chapter is one of my personal favs too! And I agree! :D

**JonNebula**: Thanks for reviewing! Haha, who ever knows what to say to Jim ;)

**Ellstra**: Haha me too! Thanks for the review!

**kyuubecky**: Haha! Your review totally made me burst into laughter! Thanks! :D

**Flamingspain**: Thanks for reviewing! Haha, that would be funny, I'll see if I can fit it in somewhere. :)

**IntuitiveMastermind**: Thanks! It is a casual fruit! Haha! :D

**elysenjazz**: Thanks for reviewing! Haha, yeah I am a little off my game. The Disclaimer's aren't as easy as they used to be! :O I'll work on it but, bear with me! :)

**Sonar**: Thanks for the review!

**RedHatMeg**: Thanks! Yeah, I was thinking about the Kobayashi Maru when I was writing it! Go Apples! :D

**Guest**: Thanks for reviewing! I'm all for teaming up with Chekov! :D

**WhatTheValhalla**: Thanks! Haha Chekov is my fav so I'll try to get him in some more! I really like the childish Kirk idea too! :)

You all are so AMAZING! Thanks for all the reviews/favorites/follows! Love you all!

**Disclaimer:**

I wish this was my expedition  
Sadly, it is not my mission  
Truly, Spock is a renowned logician  
And Scotty is more than just a technician

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~j~t~k~~~~~

**Sign Number Seven: Reprogramming Important Equipment**

Kirk continued his leisurely stroll, not heading in a specific direction. He knew that his shift would be starting soon so that meant he should probably be going to the bridge but, he really didn't want to.

Jim took another big bite out of his apple. The Captain turned down a corridor and threw the core at a passing ensign who caught it quickly.

"Throw that away please!" He called over his shoulder, not slowing his pace. The bewildered ensign continued on his way, an apple core in tow. Kirk did not want to be rude but, his mind was on other matters, specifically the fact that he might be becoming bored.

He didn't think that should be possible. He was a Captain of a starship for crying out loud! And not just any vessel, he captained the _Enterprise_, the best ship ever conceived by man! He took a steadying breath and reasoned that he couldn't possibly be bored; he just needed to focus on something. With that in mind, Jim started heading towards the turbolift.

He figured that he might as well go to the bridge after all.

As he neared the lift he heard two males conversing.

"Sulu, you must know zat it was inwented in Russia!"

"It was not!" Hikaru countered.

Jim smiled, recognizing his navigator and helmsman. The men were walking towards the turbolift, obviously preparing for their shift.

In record time, a plan entered his mind. Silently, Kirk rushed towards a nearby computer console and entered a few commands. He ducked down and used said console to conceal him partially from view. Effectively hidden, Jim settled in to enjoy the show.

Chekov and Sulu did not slow their pace as they neared the lift. This was their first mistake. The two men smashed against the turbolift's doors, the ones that should've opened to let them in.

"Ow!" Pavel exclaimed, rubbing his forehead. Sulu expressed similar sentiments. They both took a cautious step back and looked at the door.

"That's so weird, it's never done that to me before." The Helmsman said to his companion.

"It has not happened to me either." He responded. Chekov walked towards the lift again and the door opened seamlessly. "All better now, I suppose."

The Russian put one foot in when the door suddenly closed again, capturing his foot. He shrieked and yanked it out.

Kirk was clutching his side in silent laughter, observing the scene in front of him.

Sulu was the next to attempt to enter the lift. Just as before, the door opened faultlessly. As quick as possible, he ran into the lift hoping to avoid it closing on him. His plan succeeded but, now the door was stuck a little bit open and a little bit closed.

Pavel peered through the gap at his friend. Hesitantly, the young man waved his hand in front of it. Nothing happened and the duo's confusion mounted.

They had yet to realize their Captain who was mere feet away from them, doing his very best to laugh quietly.

Hikaru hit the door with his hand and it shuddered violently and opened. He gestured wildly at his friend to enter the turbolift. Chekov shook his head resolutely.

"I zink zat I will use a different lift. You should too." Sulu nodded his head in agreement and attempted to exit the lift but, it slammed shut.

"Or maybe I'll use this one. You go on! I'll meet you on the bridge!" Hikaru yelled through the door.

"Okay!" Pavel responded, walking away from the lift. "Russians definitely did not inwent turbolifts," He muttered under his breath. Chekov continued moving forward with determined steps until he passed a console and noticed his captain lying on the ground beside it.

"Keptin?" He asked, kneeling down.

Kirk was laughing hysterically and clutching his side.

Pavel put two and two together and realized that Kirk had been the one messing with the lift. The Russian stood up and left him giggling on the ground. He couldn't wait to tell Hikaru about this.

After his navigator left, Jim slowly regained his composure. But, then he noticed a nurse heading towards the turbolift. The Captain picked himself off of the ground and resumed his hiding place behind the computer.

He fell into silent laughter once again as he watched the doors refuse to cooperate for her as well.

Kirk wondered how much fun it would be to reprogram the food synthesizers too.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~j~t~k~~~

Haha! Sneaky Kirk! Hope you guys liked it! Please review and let me know! :D (Thanks again to **Dairi **for giving me the idea for this chapter)

As usual, all mistakes are mine so please forgive me!

I will be out of town for, I think, the next 2 weeks or so. Sorry! I'll update when I get back though!

Kind of off topic but, I've been thinking about starting a Joanna McCoy/Pavel Chekov story. Would you guys be interested in reading that or not? :)

"You don't tug on Superman's cape/ You don't spit into the wind/ You don't pull the mask off that old Lone Ranger/ And you don't mess around with Jim" Made me think of Kirk! Haha! You Don't Mess Around With Jim by Jim Croce. (and one of the character's in the song is named McCoy! Look it up, it's true!)

Hope you all are having a wonderful summer! Jenna out!


	8. Sign 8: Awkward Conversations

Hi! Thank you all so much for the reviews/favorites/follows. You guys rock!

This chapter is dedicated to **Leopardpath15**. Thank you for reviewing!

**Leopardpath15**: Thanks! Some of the ideas I think of myself but, others come from my reviewers!

**Ellstra**: Haha, that would be so funny! I could totally imagine it! Thanks for reviewing! :D

**WhatTheValhalla**: Thanks for reviewing! I'll try to fit some more Bones in here and Jim and Spock interactions are fun to write so I'll fit something funny in there (hopefully) :)

**Tishbing**: Haha, that is a funny prank! Thanks for the review! :D

**Obsessive66**: Yeah, he is a _tad_ childish! Haha! ;)

**JonNebula**: I like that idea, haha Jim is really getting out of control! I'm sure Spock wouldn't mind giving the Captain a nerve pinch or two! Thanks for reviewing!

**kyuubecky**: Thanks for reviewing! Haha yeah, I totally would've done what Chekov did. Just walk away and hope for the best! :D

**elysenjazz**: Thanks for the review! I always look forward to your reviews after I post my chapters! :)

**Dairi**: Yay, I'm glad that I made you happy! Thanks again for that idea, I really liked it! :D

**XxTheMoonRiddlexX**: Thanks for the reviews and ideas! I'm glad that I was able to make you laugh! Haha, I'm sure Scotty would love the sandwich thing! :D

**Sonar**: Thank you for reviewing! :)

**IrisIncendium**: Thanks! I'm glad you like it! :)

**WholockMadness24601**: Thank you for reviewing!

**Justagirlthatdreams**: Yay! Thanks for reviewing!

**Disclaimer**:

The needs of the many outweigh the few,

Which means that I don't own this amazing crew

They always do their best and push through,

Kirk and his friends are the greatest people to look up to

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~j~t~k~~~~~~~~~

**Sign Number Eight: Causing Awkward and Uncomfortable Conversations**

Kirk was tired of reprogramming equipment and was actually getting rather hungry so he decided to head to the mess hall to get something to eat. He strolled in casually and got himself a sandwich to eat.

Jim looked around the room to see who else was in there. He smiled when he recognized various members of his command crew scattered throughout. Closest to him sat Spock and Uhura so he decided to visit them first. And, of course, have a little fun.

"My, my Nyota you get more beautiful every day!" The Captain said as he leaned against the table that his first officer and communications officer were sitting at. She glared at him in response.

"How often do I have to tell you not to call me that!?" Uhura hissed, already annoyed.

"Aw, lighten up sweetheart! I'm just having a little fun." Kirk responded. He started playing with Nyota's ponytail which caused the woman to swat his hand away. Her Captain's crazy attitude was making her feel a bit uncomfortable.

"Kirk –" She started to say threateningly but, Spock came to her aid.

"Captain! Uhura clearly doesn't enjoy that. If you could stop, that would be quite agreeable to the both of us."

"Ooooo-kay!" Jim responded childishly, taking a huge bite of his sandwich. He straightened his stance and ruffled Spock's hair with his free hand. The Vulcan looked at him stoically, but it was obvious that he was controlling his emotions of anger. However, it made no difference to Kirk because he had already left their table and was heading for his next victim er... friend.

The Captain spotted Vera and Chekov at a distant table so he walked towards them.

"How's my second favorite couple ever doing?" He questioned as he pulled up a chair next to the pair.

"Hello Keptin!" Pavel responded while Vera looked confused.

"Second favorite couple?" She said, as a form of greeting.

"Obviously!" Jim responded. "Spock and Uhura are my first favorite couple. I mean – shhhhhh! I forgot, it's a secret that they're dating!" He continued in a loud whisper.

Vera started giggling and Chekov smiled slightly.

"Though if Scotty and Bones got together then I think that they would steal your spot and push you two down to my third favorite couple." Kirk added.

The young officers looked a little uncomfortable at the sudden turn in conversation.

"Is zat a possible ewentuality sir?" The Russian asked hesitantly.

The Captain chuckled slightly before telling them that it would most likely not be happening in the near future. Unless McCoy decided that he was interested in guys which, for the record, he wasn't.

Chekov took his girlfriend's hand on top of the table and they smiled sweetly at each other. It seemed that they had forgotten Kirk's presence so he figured he might as well leave them be.

"Well, I suppose that it is time for me to go. Just don't forget that I am still expecting curly-haired Russian toddlers running around this ship so you two better get to it!" He said loudly. Pavel and Vera both blushed bright red as Jim walked away from them.

He was taking another bite of his sandwich when he noticed a peculiar sight. Bones was sitting alone at a table and smiling wider than Kirk had ever seen him do.

"What's up Bones? You actually look happy!" He said as he plopped down in the seat next to his friend. McCoy didn't even glare at his obnoxious greeting which meant that something was making the doctor happier than he had been in a long while.

"Joanna has been assigned to the _Enterprise_." The doctor said in an awed voice. Jim thought back to when he had approved the new personnel that was to be brought aboard the ship. He had seen a Joanna McCoy on the list but, had been too tired to realize the connection between the two.

"Your daughter, right?" He asked, just to be sure.

"Yes Jim. She's a nurse, followed her father into the medical field." Bones said proudly, it was clear that he really loved his daughter.

"How old is she?"

"Just turned eighteen, she grew up so fast! She's such a sweetie."

This super happy-go-lucky McCoy was freaking Kirk out a little bit so he tried to think of a way to make his friend act like his usual self. The Captain smirked as an idea came to mind.

"Hmmm, I imagine that she is very beautiful. Probably has an adorable accent, a true southern belle! And eighteen years old…"

The doctor looked sharply at his friend. "She's my daughter Jim and there's no way that she is going to become one of your girls! Plus, she's just a kid." He looked concerned that his best friend seemed interested in his daughter; the whole conversation was super awkward!

"She's eighteen Bones, legally an adult. And old enough to make her own decisions."

"I swear to god Jim if you so much as stand too close to her I will jam you with so many hyposprays you won't even remember what your name is. Do I make myself clear?" McCoy said menacingly. He gave his patented works-on-everyone-but-apparently-not-Jim-Kirk glare that caused sane men to run from the medbay but just made Kirk smile smugly.

"Sure Doc! Whatever you say!" He stood up from his chair and threw the rest of his sandwich at Bones. "Finish that, would you? And I'll tell Scotty that you said hi!" Jim added as he exited the mess hall, leaving a muddled doctor behind.

The Captain strode through the hallways, with nothing to do. His shift didn't start for another hour and there were no emergencies or malfunctions of any kind. He stopped in front of a window and stared out at the stars and pondered a disturbing question. Was he actually getting bored?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~j~t~k~~

Another chapter complete! Hope you all liked it, please review and let me know! And as always, I'm open to any chapter ideas you might have.

All mistakes are my own so I apologize profusely! I started this chapter last night around midnight so if thinks don't make sense just blame it on my sleep deprived brain!

In case you guys are curious I was planning on finishing this story up with 10 chapters (10 signs) and having a sequel to be about the prank that got them all into medbay that was mentioned in the first chapter of this fic. That sequel would also include the crew's payback to Kirk for everything he did to them in this story. Does that sound like a good plan to you all?

Oh! I started watching Star Trek: The Original Series and I LOVE IT SO MUCH! (I also watched all six original films! :D ) Haha, thanks for reading and have a terrific day. Jenna out! :)


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